Nervous pregnant woman rambles

So I am realizing that I should have one blog for family and friends to read about our family, and another blog that no one knows about that is just therapy. I could of gotten up out of bed last night as I was tossing and turning and had a little session with myself. At first I thought knowing the date of the delivery was bad because I put myself on such a schedule to complete things, but now that they have taken that away again I am having a lot of anxiety about not knowing when it's going to happen. It's a real possibility that it will be tomorrow. So I'm a little stressed today and a little sad. It's weird to think that this is the last day where it's just Easton and I. I am also realizing just how much time I have had the last 22 months to do things for me. Thank goodness. I'm so exciting for the baby to arrive and I know we are all going to enjoy having one more member of our family, but I had so quickly forgotten so many things. We hauled out all the baby things this weekend and realized how much they take over the house and just looking at the breast pump while Easton was running around made me realize just how insane things are going to get. I actually had to return a library book the other day that I didn't finish. And it was a book that I was enjoying and that I have wanted to read for some time. I would go to bed and start reading and after about 4 pages I would fall asleep. I know my mother is happy to hear that, but I've never just crashed like this before. We are also stressed because there is also a real possibility that we could be getting another house this week. Kyle says were going to get it just because that's our luck. We finally would be getting what we always wanted, the boy, the girl, the nice house in the right neighborhood with the bedrooms we wanted, just absolutely horrible timing. If we get the house it needs an incredible amount of work. Which at another time would be very exciting to be able to make it what we want, I would actually get to design my kitchen, it's just I can't imagine taking it on in a month. Yikes. Anyway I have lots to take care of yet today and I'm just rambling. Hopefully next time we post it will be photos of our beautiful daughter. It's crazy to realize that I'm finally going to get the pay-off for all the doctor appointments and shots, and test that we have had for the last 37 weeks. To put it in Kyle terms, we are going "all in" knowing we are winning the big jackpot after playing at the table for a long time not knowing if we would go out. God that feels good!